Since declaring that he would be running for President in 2016, a certain Republican candidate has made a lot of incredibly inflammatory comments. Basically, when anyone says anything critical about him, his feelings get hurt and he lashes out by calling them names (side note: Seriously, he can’t even come up with interesting names. He sticks with things like “loser”, “dummy”, “fat slob”. No cock gobbler, monkey fucker, doucheketeer, or mustard feltcher. There’s not even a half hearted douchbag in his lexicon!). Then, when called out on how that isn’t appropriate for adults, let alone a wannabe world leader, he says that he just doesn’t have time to be politically correct (side note: Bull-fucking-shit. If you have time to open your mouth, you have time to be polite, Mr. Future-Want-To-Be President.).
This type of thing really bothers me. Well, everything about that walking bag of syphilis bothers me, but that’s a rant for another day. This rant is about this particular type of “apology”. The “Just trying to be honest” apology. The “I don’t mean to be [whatever]”s, “no offense”ers, “politically incorrect”ers, “Sorry, but you [whatever]…”s. The “I know I’m being an asshole but I don’t really want you to hate me” people.
Let’s break these down:
“I’m just trying to be honest/keep it real” really means “I want to sound like I’m trying to help you, but most likely have no intention of actually helping you. If I say it like this maybe you won’t be offended and realize what a dick thing I’m saying. Maybe you’ll even be grateful!”
“I don’t mean to sound racist/homophobic/misogynistic, but…” really means “What I’m saying is super racist/homophobic/misogynistic, but if I say I don’t MEAN to sound like that, you can’t hold it against me. I totally mean to sound like that though.”
“No offense” really means “This is really offensive, but once again, you can’t hold it against me because I said no offense”.
“I know I’m politically incorrect” means “I think I can say whatever asshole thing I want, and I think it’s ok because everyone else is probably thinking the same thing and I’m just braver and edgier than them.” Saying you’re politically incorrect is not an excuse to be tactless, mean, and use slurs you pulled straight from the big red ball sack of bigotry (side note: How’s that for an alliteration?). At least, not if you want to be taken seriously. Also? If you’re going to say politically incorrect things, be factually correct about it, for fucks sake.
“Sorry, but you…” means “I’m not sorry one bit. I have to say I am, but we both know I’m not”
All of these things boil down to the same thing. It’s an egocentric dickhead move, trying to shift the blame away from yourself. It’s a douchebag saying if you’re upset, it’s your own fault for being so thin skinned, I’m just trying to help. I’m not as horrible as this sounds. Being “honest”, and I do use this term in this context both lightly, does not mean you’re either right. Being”honest” can be just a passive aggressive bullying act and you’re just trying to convince yourself you don’t deserve to be beaten with a bag of dildos (side note: You probably do deserve it.).
My point is, if you’re going to be an asshole, be an asshole. Wave your asshole flag high and proud. But take responsibility for it. Take the consequences. Don’t expect to be loved for it. Embrace your assholiness, and stop pretending you’re being a nice person when you do it. This shit is what high school bullies do. Grow the fuck up.