Welcome to my blog!
You may be asking yourself, why am I here? What’s this blog about? Why does this teddy bear smell like chloroform? Exactly who are you, Angry Lemur, and why should I bother reading your stuff?
Well… I’m not entirely sure of the answers of any of those questions. Why are you here? My best guess is you’re at home, drinking a bottle of wine, and you thought to yourself “Man, if I see one more of those ‘share if you love ‘Murica pictures’ on Facebook, I’m going to have to resort to physical violence”. So, in order to avoid a possible felony charge, you found this while you were googing videos of dogs being surprised by their owners coming home from Iraq or who delivers macaroni and cheese at 11pm?
What’s this blog about? Honestly? I have no idea yet. I plan to review stuff (tv, movies, recipes, and crafts). Most of these will be reviewed while I’ve been drinking. If you can’t trust that, what can you trust?
The chloroform? Well, I’m a little concerned you know what chloroform smells like in the first place.
Who am I? I can answer that one!! Me, in a nutshell:
– I drink way too much.
– I have an unhealthy obsession with Doctor Who and zombies.
– Food trucks are completely underrated. Seriously, I’ll eat just about anything from one.
– I’m married. We have a dog.
– My taste in music and movies are probably pretty questionable and I regret nothing.
– I like lemurs.
Why should you read my blog?
– My sister and husband think I’m funny. I’m certainly entertained by me.
– I’m bitter, angry, and have a general disdain for humanity. That means you won’t feel as guilty if you laugh at something bitchy I say, because it means that you didn’t have to say it out loud, so it totally doesn’t count against your karma.
– Seriously, what else do you have to do? You were looking for an excuse to put off doing the dishes anyway, otherwise you wouldn’t have just taken the “Which Disney princess are you” (Belle), “Who were you in a past life” (Cleopatra), and “Where should you live” (New York) quizzes. It’s either this, or go clean out the closet like you’ve been telling yourself you’d do since six months after you moved in to that place.
So here’s to our new adventure. Good luck to us all. Allons-y!!